I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
