am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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