I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
