I want to stick my p in your. b.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
