if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
