Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
