Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
