He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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