People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
