"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
even my farts smell like vagina
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
