I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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