That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
