This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
