I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My vagina is very pro this idea
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