he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
