I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
