no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
