yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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