i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
