What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
