Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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