physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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