The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just threw up on my dentist
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
