you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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