is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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