White coat. Heels.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
