I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
