tell your sister to shave her snatch
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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