and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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