Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
