He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
