why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
