Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
