just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize