my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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