I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
