we have pet lesbian snakes
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
