Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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