between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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