But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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