Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
