How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
