You're so nebulous sometimes
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
