the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize