At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
