just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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