dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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