There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
