maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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