oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
