Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
