my shit smells like andre
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
