South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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