real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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