no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
