At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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