marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize