FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize