guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
