Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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