Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
