Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
