you would pick up someone in the library
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
