No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
