yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
