You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
